As the rains lashed against the window sill in the deep night, as the crickets hummed soft tunes, and as a calmness swept through the entire atmosphere, the mind wandered back..............to the days of innocence, days of pleasure,days of friendship...........a sudden flood of memories sweeping over.........People have defined that feeling in a number of ways.The English language has called it 'Nostalgia'.........
Turning in my bed, I get up and search for my autograph diary.........It seems far away, but I manage to get hold of it.......The pages have started coming apart!!But the ink, and designs-if u can call that-scribbled by me still remain, giving a vision of the bygone years.It was a historic occasion or as they call it in Malayalam "Chatritrapradhana Nimisham" that meant historical moment.I was one of the last members of the course called Pre-Degree in Kerala.......That was the time when the people felt that 'uniforms' suited well to the students even after Class Tenth!!The loss of Innocence was to begin soon........
Pre-Degree was given a fitting funeral, with Plus-Two becoming the watchword. College campuses talk of it as an unbearable loss!!Seems true enough.But the memories inscribed in those diary leaves seem to take shape now......As I turn over the pages, the lines acquire faces; I try to recollect them and it is an uphill task..........Time has played a very heavy game........Alzheimer's striking early!!But people say it is nothing to worry about whereby it is not possible to remember all the names in a class with a strength of over 90. One of the entries say that "we were summer birds who are flying back with change of weather".Can nature be so cruel??I do not know................Again another mate wishes that "as I fly higher and higher, my wings shouldn't tire"!!But my dear friend, my wings seem to tire now, as I enter a life where comfort zones are minimal or on the periphery........There is a 'mean world' out there where expressions like love and compassion seem to have dried up into dead habit.............A friend advises me to fill that autograph book with scribbles and entries from all the people, as the past years were filled with colour, fun and frolic!!Have I done that fully??Again such questions keep staring at me.............
Now, the only sound I can hear is that of the rotation of the fan.Every thing else has faded away into the mists of time.........Another entry notes that "Autographs are only for those who feel that days of 'closeness' were over.Why should we need it??" Mate. when did I last contacted You??Words are like that.They sound very beautiful when expressed delicately!!But when the act of 'practice' is expected, the very same words feel miserable!!I turn over the pages again......Same lines repeated..........Wishes, happy future, achieve targets,don the mantle of a media person or a civil servant,don't forget to send the wedding card(I doubt if such a thing is possible in the near future), and so on!!Many have given their snail mail addresses, telephone numbers, and even email IDs(technology was in its incubation period then!!). But now with passage of such a long period,contacts have come down......Earlier, there used to be a 'phone call', or a 'letter'.But now the vanishing act is complete!!As the last hours of the night make an entry, I am struck by the lines of another friend....."The World is Round and We are Bound to Meet Again" . So, feel rest assured.We are never separated from each other, thats the essence of her words.It is almost five years since then......I did meet some of the people, but the old days were far behind.The meetings have lost their warmth as a coldness encompasses everything.....The old smiles and taunts are missing.......New friendships have arisen.......Time has made me conscious of thefact that the past had now to be put on the back-burner.New relationships have to be established.Friends, how wrong were you when you said that "Make New Friends, but never forget the Old ones"!!
I close the diary and wander into thoughts.Am I also not a culprit?? In a way, I'm.......Perhaps then these had to happen........or were there any other reasons??Those questions still have not found solutions.May be tomorrow, I should change things around and make some calls, write some letters, and compose some emails............... Sleep slowly takes over me.Perhaps it has started raining again and the chatter of the crickets resume.The frogs have started their croaks and fire-flies dance about...............Have I closed that window?
Turning in my bed, I get up and search for my autograph diary.........It seems far away, but I manage to get hold of it.......The pages have started coming apart!!But the ink, and designs-if u can call that-scribbled by me still remain, giving a vision of the bygone years.It was a historic occasion or as they call it in Malayalam "Chatritrapradhana Nimisham" that meant historical moment.I was one of the last members of the course called Pre-Degree in Kerala.......That was the time when the people felt that 'uniforms' suited well to the students even after Class Tenth!!The loss of Innocence was to begin soon........
Pre-Degree was given a fitting funeral, with Plus-Two becoming the watchword. College campuses talk of it as an unbearable loss!!Seems true enough.But the memories inscribed in those diary leaves seem to take shape now......As I turn over the pages, the lines acquire faces; I try to recollect them and it is an uphill task..........Time has played a very heavy game........Alzheimer's striking early!!But people say it is nothing to worry about whereby it is not possible to remember all the names in a class with a strength of over 90. One of the entries say that "we were summer birds who are flying back with change of weather".Can nature be so cruel??I do not know................Again another mate wishes that "as I fly higher and higher, my wings shouldn't tire"!!But my dear friend, my wings seem to tire now, as I enter a life where comfort zones are minimal or on the periphery........There is a 'mean world' out there where expressions like love and compassion seem to have dried up into dead habit.............A friend advises me to fill that autograph book with scribbles and entries from all the people, as the past years were filled with colour, fun and frolic!!Have I done that fully??Again such questions keep staring at me.............
Now, the only sound I can hear is that of the rotation of the fan.Every thing else has faded away into the mists of time.........Another entry notes that "Autographs are only for those who feel that days of 'closeness' were over.Why should we need it??" Mate. when did I last contacted You??Words are like that.They sound very beautiful when expressed delicately!!But when the act of 'practice' is expected, the very same words feel miserable!!I turn over the pages again......Same lines repeated..........Wishes, happy future, achieve targets,don the mantle of a media person or a civil servant,don't forget to send the wedding card(I doubt if such a thing is possible in the near future), and so on!!Many have given their snail mail addresses, telephone numbers, and even email IDs(technology was in its incubation period then!!). But now with passage of such a long period,contacts have come down......Earlier, there used to be a 'phone call', or a 'letter'.But now the vanishing act is complete!!As the last hours of the night make an entry, I am struck by the lines of another friend....."The World is Round and We are Bound to Meet Again" . So, feel rest assured.We are never separated from each other, thats the essence of her words.It is almost five years since then......I did meet some of the people, but the old days were far behind.The meetings have lost their warmth as a coldness encompasses everything.....The old smiles and taunts are missing.......New friendships have arisen.......Time has made me conscious of thefact that the past had now to be put on the back-burner.New relationships have to be established.Friends, how wrong were you when you said that "Make New Friends, but never forget the Old ones"!!
I close the diary and wander into thoughts.Am I also not a culprit?? In a way, I'm.......Perhaps then these had to happen........or were there any other reasons??Those questions still have not found solutions.May be tomorrow, I should change things around and make some calls, write some letters, and compose some emails............... Sleep slowly takes over me.Perhaps it has started raining again and the chatter of the crickets resume.The frogs have started their croaks and fire-flies dance about...............Have I closed that window?
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